Category: Projects

Character Writing #3

(Trigger warning: light misgendering, senility, food mentions, disability, scarring & tattoo talk, murder)

I’m adding three more characters. I’m also going to do the questions for Charles and Andre (I need to look up their last names, but it’s on the other computer) and then a random character that will probably change for each question.

Character’s relationship with parents:

Charles – (I haven’t decided pronouns, so for now I’m going to use zie/zir for zie) Zir parents were really conservative, but trying. They were fine with zem being gay, but confused by zem being non-binary. For years they assumed that meant zie wanted to be a girl and would buy zem typically female-assigned stuff. That was partly okay, because zie does like feminine stuff, but they overdid it. Zie’s got two sisters and their family didn’t have huge amounts of money. Zie gets along fine with all of zir family, although zie often finds zir parents tiring.

Andre – he was spoiled rotten and getting out on his own was a huge shock. His mom would do all his cleaning, food prep, etc, so he didn’t know how to do laundry, cook, etc. Charles thought that was funny and helped him learn when they were in college. His dad has gone senile and Andre finds visiting him very sad, but tries to go at least once a month. He has a younger brother that takes care of his parents (they’re in a nursing home) and he doesn’t approve of Andre’s career and won’t take any of his money. But they’re polite to each other, in a somewhat awkward, prickly way.

Joel Burton (okay, I’m giving myself an easy one :P ) – seeing as his parents have more than plenty of money, Joel’s got a fairly easy ride. Which makes dealing with his disability a lot better. (I can’t remember the name I gave the disease – it’s similar to Parkinson’s). His dad would spoil him and his mom was stricter, but overall it balanced out.

Most prominent feature:

Charles is huge. Like tall, massive, generally huge.

Andre is very classically good looking.

Techrat – his shaved head. Not like fuzzy shaved. Bald shaved. And not cuz he’s balding. Aside from that, probably the barcode tattooed on the back of his neck.

Scars:

Okay, so medical technology is more advanced than in our world, so people generally don’t get scars from surgeries, etc. People get the normal day to day scars, which can be removed easily if they want.

Charles has a puckered sort of scar on his right shoulder where zie got a tattoo removed. Zie was really young when zie got it and a friend did it with a homemade tattoo gun. Zie keeps the scar as a reminder that we all do stupid things sometimes.

Andre is one of the few people that the scar removal tech doesn’t work on. He’s got scars all over his chest and arms from the various fights he’s been in.

Delia would have a c-section scar if not for the technology.

Gimmick has heavy calluses behind his ears from the hearing aids he wears (of his own design). He’s also got a faint white mark on his left shoulder that is all that remains of the surgery scar when he got his rotator cuff repaired.

How vain:

Charles thinks zie’s pretty good looking, but zie’s not vain about it.

Andre loves to primp, but he keeps it private (cuz Wild Rush is a lot more vain than he is and will throw a tantrum.)

Techrat absolutely hates how he looks. But he has serious issues, in that he wishes he was a machine.

Sexual Orientation and history:

Charles just loves the dudes.

Andre is closer to being bi than gay, but identifies as gay. He’s slept with people of all types, but is only romantically attracted to men.

Leonard Burton (Delia’s brother-in-law) loves the ladies. He’s aromantic and just wants sex and to spoil his (current) girlfriend. He stays really good friends with past girlfriends, in a completely healthy way (he’s not a nice guy™, he’s actually a really nice, giving guy, who just likes to sleep around).

How easily does your character make friends? Are they well liked?

Charles makes friends pretty well, but drops them quickly too if they say anything even remotely bigoted.

Andre is more forgiving, but has a harder time making close friends. He has a huge number of acquaintances who think they’re closer than they are.

Gimmick doesn’t really make friends. He’s got a giant ego that doesn’t make room for anyone else. One of his closest friends is Techrat, because they share a love for technology.

Techrat also doesn’t make friends, but that’s because he finds people disgusting and annoying.

Describe your character’s happiest memory

Ugh, I hate questions like this. Either you get cliche answers (when they met their spouse, when they got married, when they had their kid…) or you get spoilers.

Delia: One of those cliches. She was deeply in love with her husband. Probably also when the company she worked for (that she co-founded with friends) took off after all their hard work.

(Trigger warning: murder)

Wild Rush: probably the one he values most is when he killed his parents, although probably falling in love with Daisy is happier.

(end trigger warning)

Daisy: learning to drive, falling in love. I dunno.

Charles: meeting other non-binary people for the first time.

Andre: graduating college

Gimmick: when he got his first hearing aids and then when he made better ones (the money he makes off the patent doesn’t hurt any either)

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White Knight notes for later

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This is mostly a note to myself and lots of rambling.

I want to revamp my character diversity – I have a huge number of characters, but there are a lot of diversity categories not represented or poorly represented (like, there are a lot of Asian characters, but very few black people…) (I don’t know what the breakdown of ethnicities actually is, that’s just an example). My plan is to basically use random numbers to fix this (I already use a random generator to determine relative weights, heights, and some other things).

Percentages I’m going to use: (I’m intentionally inflating numbers to increase representation)

  • Intersex: 1%
  • Transgender (binary): 4%
  • Non-binary: 15% (I truly believe that a lot more people would be non-binary if it was more widely known and accepted – which it is in my story) (I’ve decided Delia is a demi-girl, and one of Wild Rush’s henchmen is going to be non-binary)
  • Neurodivergent: ???
  • Invisibly disabled: ???
  • Disabled: ???
  • Race categories… (gonna get the statistics for the US and round up)
  • I’m not sure what else?

Plan for the generator:

Have list of categories, with what numbers mean the character fits in that category. For example, race/ethnicity* could be White, Native American, Black, South Asian, Pacific Islander, Middle Eastern, East Asian, etc, and by having a list people could easily be more than one ethnicity.

Like any generator, results will probably be tweaked by hand.

* obviously for this, I’d use the words that fit my actual map, since there isn’t a one-to-one correspondence between my fictional world and the real world.

Diverse characters I know I have:

  • Lt. Aurita – cop, black / Pacific Islander,  Caling, an ethnic group that whose average height is under 4 feet Pygmy (I can’t tell from googling if this is an offensive term or if there’s alternatives – she’s not a little person, because she doesn’t have dwarfism, she’s ethnically a Pygmy) (Seriously, if I’m screwing up here, let me know). (Edited 4-27-14)
  • Mask – Middle Eastern, disabled (I need some Middle Eastern characters that aren’t criminals – don’t judge me for that, the majority of my characters are criminals.)
  • Delia Troy Burton – Asian, demi-girl
  • Joel Burton (Delia’s son) – Asian, disabled (fictional disease similar to Parkison’s)
  • Emily – Latina, Selective Mutism (I’m not sure if that’s neurodivergent, disabled, or both…)
  • Charles – (Wild Rush’s henchman) gay, non-binary
  • Andre – (Wild Rush’s henchman) gay
  • RV – black
  • (Since Ostanes is set in the same universe, I can count Iosis & Ostanes and their mom for Asian, and Dr. Maurell for asexual and Latino) (basically I already diversitied-up that story, so I’m not worrying about it)
  • (I really need some more asexual characters)
  • (I swear there’s more, I just can’t think of them right now)

Characters that I’m not counting as diverse:

  • Swordcat – multiple, through alien intervention (I need some naturally multiple people)
  • Wild Rush – neurodivergent, mostly likely diagnosis is sociopath (it’s more complicated than that and I don’t want to try to count him as representation of anybody because he’s a really terrible person)
  • Tectrix (I think that’s what I’m going to call him) – Middle Eastern (although that might change. He’s currently problematic and I’m trying to figure out how much of that is stuff I need to change about him and how much can be fixed by having other characters as counterweight) (He’s really just kind of a horrible person and I might just make him white, because making white people horrible doesn’t say anything bad about white people.)

I swear I almost should just make all the really horrible people white, because I’m totally racist against my own race. (That’s mostly sarcasm). (Anyone who non-ironically mentions ‘reverse racism’ will get laughed at and banned. Not kidding.)

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Character Writing #2

(Trigger Warning: child abuse, character murder. Will mark where it stops and starts)

Let’s start with some basic stats:

Delia Troy Burton

Age: 40s
Height: Tall for a dfab person
Build: muscular
Hair: Black, straight, short
Eyes: Soft Brown
Skin: medium toned
Ethnicity: Zanchian-Anitian (Chinese-American-ish. Again, fictional world.)
Job: Chief Financial Officer (I think) at place that I can’t remember the name of. It’s a technology company.

Wild Rush Age: 40s (I think)
Height: Very tall
Build: Skinny
Hair: curly, dark reddish-brown, short
Eyes: Bright blue
Skin: Grey Ethnicity: European (I don’t remember what I’m calling that area)
Occupation: Criminal

Daisy Hart, aka Deuce of Hearts Age: 20s (at start of the story she’s 17)
Height: Average
Build: Curvy
Hair: Shoulder-length strawberry-blond, straight
Eyes: Amber Skin: Grey / pale pink
Ethnicity: European
Occupation: Student / Criminal

Name one (physical) scar your character has and where it came from: (I don’t even want to get started on emotional scars. I’d have to warn for all the things)

Delia: I haven’t really thought about it. Presumably she has some from playing sports (Lacrosse and Quoits*). Any she has won’t be major.

* Not the real one. Fictional sport.

(Trigger warning: child abuse)

Wild Rush: The grey skin is an obvious one. Aside from that, I know he’s got a scar on the back on one knee from getting hit by a belt buckle by his dad. He had a several broken bones as well. Pretty much everything has healed away to invisibility by now.

(end trigger warning)

Daisy: Again, I haven’t really thought about it. I can’t think of any that would be plot relevant (aside from the grey skin, which isn’t really a scar).

How vain is your character? Do they find themselves attractive?

Delia: She’s not vain, but she’s proud of her body. She likes how strong she is and she’s got a cute face.

Wild Rush: He’s exceedingly vain and generally obvious about it. Aside from finding himself good looking (he’s very tall and thin), he loves how talented he is at gambling, card games, and card tricks. He’s got some self-esteem issues and needs reassurances from people he cares about (mostly Daisy, also his two trusted henchmen).

Daisy: She’s not vain at all. She doesn’t think she’s attractive, but she’s quite cute. (She’s curvy and hippy, and has picked up the standard amounts of society-prescribed fat-hatred.)

What is your character’s ranking on the Kinsey Scale? (I’m going to interpret this as what is your character’s sexual orientation and history, because the Kinsey scale has some problems – it’s based on history, not on interest).

(trigger warning: death)

Delia: she’s pretty much entirely heterosexual. I think she had a normal array of boyfriends, although she was pretty focused on her career. When she met her husband, they feel head-over-heels in love and they were totally devoted to each other. Since he was killed she hasn’t dated at all. (I may have her date at some point, I haven’t decided).

(end trigger warning)

Wild Rush: He’s bisexual, or maybe bisexual and heteoromantic. Likes everybody that will give him attention. He had both boyfriends and girlfriends in high school. I’m pretty sure he briefly dated Jill (another Name Criminal). He’s very opposed to homophobia. He’s completely devoted to Daisy, but he’ll go to bars and get drunk and make out with guys. (Daisy knows and is okay with it). I can see him having a threesome with his two henchmen in the past. In fact, I *know* he’s at least gotten a blowjob from at least one of them, because they were bribing him to let them drive (he’s a scary driver. Good in the sense that he doesn’t hit anything, but scary.) He prefers to bottom (and top from the bottom) when with a guy.

Daisy: ummm? heteroflexible? Has only dated guys – dated a couple of guys in high school, then fell in love with Wild Rush.

I’m going to add one not from the list. How easily does your character make friends? Are they well liked?

Delia: fairly easily. The company she works for was founded by her and three of her (amab – I may make at least one of them non-binary) friends (One has left to do other things). I know she has at least two other good friends, RV at the animal rescue where she volunteers and Leonard, her brother-in-law. (… I should give her some close girl friends. I know there’s one that shows up asking why Delia hasn’t been out, but I can’t remember her name.) She goes to a lot of charity events and is well-liked.

Wild Rush: Not easily. He is superficially charming, but has a short temper. He’s scary and most of the other Name Criminals are scared of him. Aside from Daisy, his two closest friends are Charles and Andre, his henchmen. There are several other Name Criminals that he’ll hang out with when in prison, because they play poker. (Later he becomes friends with Delia.) He’s respected, but not liked.

Daisy: Everybody likes Daisy. She doesn’t have a lot of close friends though, but pretty much any of the other Name Criminals would help her out. She’s very sweet, charming, and likes to help people out.

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Character Writing #1

Copying this from Tumblr so they’ll all be in the same place.

I’m doing the Character Writing Challenge on Habit Rpg. I’m doing three characters. Wild Rush and Daisy Hart, who I’m also doing the OCTP meme for, and the main character, Delia Troy Burton.

(Trigger Warning: Child / Teenager Abuse.)

1) Character’s relationship with parents

(Skipping Delia and Wild Rush because I know theirs. I can’t remember the details of Delia’s – its in my notes. Wild Rush’s comes down to, he hates his family for pretty good reasons).

Daisy Hart / Deuce of Hearts: Her mom left when she was about seven. Her dad started sexually abusing her when she was 13. She ran away with Wild Rush when she was 17. Aside from that, her dad basically ignored her and did the minimum necessary. She has no idea where her mom is. Her dad is now dead (from a car crash).

(End Trigger Warning)

2) Most prominant physical feature:

Delia: Probably how strong she is. She’s very muscular from years of sports and martial arts. (I have in my notes which ones specifically. I think lacrosse and I know, another fictional First Nations* sport, as well as a fictional martial art). Physically I modeled her after some professional wrestlers.

Wild Rush: His grey skin. He was in an accident which interacted with some other stuff, and basically he’s got grey skin. Aside from that, his bright blue eyes.

Daisy: She usually also has grey skin (because of spoilery reasons). Aside from that, probably her amber eyes or her strawberry blonde hair.

* It’s set on a fictional world, but things kind of correspond. I don’t remember what I was calling them exactly. It’s in my notes.

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Daniel Loyd update

I still haven’t typed up that other vignette, no. But I’m working on an actual story for the characters now. And upcoming retcon alert – Roland is now Rowan, and is a woman. And we’re going to get physical descriptions of at least the siblings. So there’s that.

I still need to think of a name for the series. I’ve decided I don’t like Doll-verse, so I need something.

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Easiest fix: make everyone amoebas

Don’t have to worry about diversity when everybody’s genderless, asexual, shapeless, and transparent.

But anyway.

This is going to be one of those awkward things, where I say a dozen things wrong. I apologize.

There’s a discussion over on Shakesville of how everyone is sick of white straight able-bodied male protagonists. And I’m in agreement, but…

Neill, the protagonist of the novel I’m revising, hits three of those (He’s asexual). So, I could make him black or Hispanic or something. He comments on the antagonist being mixed-race (for example: ‘The tip of his tongue moistened his bottom lip, very pink against his dark skin.’) and I don’t know if that would be weird coming from a POC. If not, yeah, he’s now Hispanic. (He probably will be) (And once he is, none of the main characters will be white. Which is groovy.)

But I kind of want to make him disabled as well. But he’s a doctor in a criminal mental institution and a major physical disability would put him more danger, so they wouldn’t allow that? I think? I do think I’m going to make him dyslexic. So, um, suggestions. He had meningitis as a kid, so I don’t know if that could cause something (besides cognitive disabilities. But he’s very smart. Maybe a problem with balance?)

There’s one other character, not for this story, that I want to give a disability to. He’s a guy in his twenties, very smart, and extroverted. He does tech support and that sort of thing. I’m open to suggestions.

(Content notice: discussion of gender essentialism, sexual harassment)

What I’m finding with this is, I’ll think, oh, do this. But then that means that event will be read as something completely different. Okay, so do this other thing, but now that other event reads as… And you’re all looking at me, going use your words, give us examples.

Okay, so I make Neill a woman. Cool, we’ve got this highly educated, very smart woman. Groovy. Exceeeept… at one point Ostanes kisses Neill, without consent. Now, it’s just a kiss, on the lips, no tongue, no groping. That still comes off as much scarier than a dude kissing a dude. Okay, make Ostanes a woman as well. Now people will interpret it as straight women kissing to get attention of guys (even though it happens in a gay bar). (I think – I might be overthinking that one).

But that raises another problem. Ostanes is a dandy. He likes really nice clothes, in bright colors, and he pulls it off. A woman doing the same is going to be read as, well, ‘women like clothes’. So I don’t want Ostanes to be a woman. And there are other problems with changing Neill to a woman, that come down to people thinking girls like girly things. It’s frustrating.

I do want to make things diverse, and I think even if I screw up it’s better than not trying. But sheesh. In story I can say, oh well the society doesn’t think like that, but that doesn’t actually fix anything.

Update July 16: So Thomas Neill is now Tomas Maurell. And he’s overweight and has a bunch of minor problems caused by the meningitis, including a balance disorder and chronic fatigue. I’m still working on editing those in. And the other character I mentioned, has something like Parkinsons (he’s young and in college, so I have to do some research.)

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CL logo

Overthinking how to fix Ostanes

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So instead of finishing writing, like, for example, the short story that’s about half done and would only take a few more hours, my brain insists on going back to Ostanes. Aside from the obvious (making it so it’s not so much talking heads), I noticed it’s basically a sausage fest, at least for the first half. And most of the characters are barely described right now (yes, that’ll be fixed), which means everyone will assume they’re white, able-bodied, straight, and cis. The last two aren’t things that will really come up without me having to force it in.

This is not acceptable.

But let’s talk total diversity (because I want people’s opinions on how to improve it). Diversity bolded and my questions in blue (so you can skip the teal deer if you want).

(Spoilers likely – also, this doesn’t take place in our world, but for simplicity’s sake I’m going to use Terran nationalities.)

Dr. Thomas Neill. White, somewhat overweight (although not mentioned very early), asexual.

Ostanes and Iosis. Multiple (not considered a bad thing in this setting). I need to do something about them denying they are, because it comes off as silly (first, research). But that’s a different issue. Ambiguously brown, probably mixed because he has curly hair. Their mom shows up and is Southeast Asian. We know basically nothing about their dad. Tall and very thin. Ostanes is pansexual. Iosis says he’s asexual, but likes to have one-night stands and make out with people at bars. Ostanes says it’s because it’s a power trip. I think it’s just complicated. Opinions? Iosis at least possibly has a mental disorder or personality disorder (that or he’s just a giant self-centered vain asshole). Ostanes has selective mutism, which I need to clarify.

Various undescribed guards. Easy place to add diversity.

Security chief. Pretty much undescribed. Woman, which I need to mention earlier.

Dr. Caro. Jerk. Male. No description.

Dr. Callis. One of Ostanes’ ex-doctors. Woman. Tried to seduce him, which is problematic. (Or at least Iosis insists she did, but he may not be an entirely reliable witness…)

Dr. Ginson. One of Ostanes’ ex-doctors. Male, no description. Could easily be a woman, which would make up for Dr. Callis.

Dr. Tross. One of Ostanes’ ex-doctors. Male, no description. Iosis thinks he’s a jerk.

Iosis’ victims. The few that are described are men, presumably white. I’m pretty sure that’s fine with me.

Uco. Overweight. Male. He has a heavy accent, but I don’t say from where. He could easily be a woman, but I’m afraid that that’s saying that making clothes is woman’s work? Or am I overthinking?

Uco’s assistant. Male, has Café au lait spots on his face. Could also easily be a woman. Maybe make Uco a woman and the assistant a man?

Delivery people. At least one is a woman. They’re otherwise undescribed.

Anita Trevino, Ostanes’ and Iosis’ mom. Southeast Asian. Woman (duh). Gorgeous. Probably has the same mental/personality disorder Iosis does because their personalities are very similar. One of the few people who can get the better of Iosis, and it’s wonderful.

Dusty. Who still needs a name change. Currently male. Going to be changed to a woman, possibly a woman of color. (Also, probably pansexual, but that won’t come up. I am NOT going to write young Ostanes walking into the kitchen and seeing his mother making out with his mentor. Not happening, but it’d be hysterical. Because I’m a jerk.) The other person who can chew out Iosis and it’s even better. Shows up as a fox (trickster archetype – actual talking animal fox) later. If I change him to a woman, is it problematic for her to be a fox? If so, suggestions for a different trickster type?

Mr. Hiddles. Rabbit of various anthro states. Male. Not changing, because oh god I lurve him. I lurve him to bits.

Elliana. Woman. Probably going to be changed to overweight, possibly a woman of color. Neill had a crush on her. She’s a fairy princess. Opinions wanted. The real Elliana was Neill’s kindergarten teacher, when he had a crush on her. Any problems there that I’m not seeing?

Three old women / witches (presented without judgement). I’m tempted to do the crone/maiden/mother thing, but I don’t think it fits. The king of fish and an ogre. Yes, this story gets odd. I need to foreshadow the change and read a lot more fairy tales to get the tropes right. It’s beautiful and I need to expand it more. It’s just so so lovely.

 

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30 Characters Challenge #7 – Lee DeLoreo

Here’s the last of my entries for the 30 Characters Challenge.

Name: Lee DeLoreo
Hair Color: Ash-blond (with red dyed stripes)
Eye Color: Grey
Skin tone: Pale

Lee DeLoreo is the events organizer for several charities, including the Friends of the Greyhound. He has the annoying tendency to name drop, usually unnecessarily, but all the publicity he gathers is for charity.

DeLoreo is a minor character for my comic series, The White Knight, but may show up more than I planned since the main character does a lot of charity work.

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30 Characters Challenge #6 – Gimmick

Name: Aaron McKay, aka Gimmick
Hair Color: Reddish-brown
Eye Color: Grey
Skin Tone: Reddish-Brown

Gimmick is one of the more subtle Name Criminals and a great deal of his fame is self-promotion and bragging. He’s a classic bully and narcissist, and somewhat of a loner, choosing to spend time with very few people. He has no real friends, but the people he spends the most time with are those that can compete with him intellectually, like Techrat, or that will flatter him, like Jill. He’s intimidated by many of the other more dangerous Name Criminals and tries not to show it by upping his bragging.

He’s usually hired by another criminal to plan jobs for them, and uses a different gimmick for each client. He’s liable to spend more money to do the crime than it brings in, but since it’s all for show for him he doesn’t care.

He has profound hearing loss from childhood and wears very discreet hearing aids of his own design. He makes a fair amount of money off the patents for them. He also wears glasses for reading. He has multiple sclerosis and finds the flare-ups very frustrating, and smokes both tobacco and marijuana. He won’t admit how badly he’s addicted to cigarettes, but he comes close to chain-smoking when frustrated, nervous, or bored.

Gimmick is a villain for my comic series, The White Knight. He’s half black, half the local equivalent to Native American (the world the story is set on has no America.)

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30 Characters Challenge #5 – Swordcat

Name: Leon Smith / Lenxoli, aka Swordcat
Hair Color: Red
Eye Color: Yellow
Skin Tone (fur): Gold

Leon Smith was a fairly ordinary man. Divorced with shared custody of his daughter, Melinda. He preferred to spend his time camping, hiking, and fishing, well away from people. It was on a camping trip that he found a strange sword in the debris from a recent landslide. He made the mistake of picking it up and found it had a personality of its own, Lenxoli.

Lenxoli had gone somewhat mad after the destruction of its home planet, floating in space for countless eons, and laying buried on Earth for millions of years. It wants nothing more in the universe than to recreate the civilization it came from. The first two steps, in whatever order necessary, are to destroy the hairless beasts and uplift the felines, the creatures that are most like its makers.

It meant to completely overwrite Leon’s mind, but didn’t quite succeed. An unexpected side effect was for Leon to change from a grumpy misanthropist to someone who wanted nothing more than back scratches, good food, and a nap in a sunny space.

The sword itself grows  from dagger size to full-length sword. (The two swords as drawn are in scale to each other, I believe). Lenxoli’s mind is connected to the sword which is usually kept in the mental institution freezer, which helps quiet Lenxoli. The staff otherwise find Leon quite pleasant to deal with, especially compared to many of the other inmates.

Swordcat is a villain for my comic series, The White Knight.

I was trying to find a way to make him look fuzzy without having to draw lots and lots of hair, because I’m don’t draw that fast and I need ways to get out pages of the comic (when I make it) without each page taking forever. I use Manga Studio. With Swordcat I tried using the Brush Pen which has a little bit of texture for his skin. It showed up better in the giant version (duh, I know). It wasn’t a successful method from the time saving stand point either, because to preserve the texture I had to paint in all the blacks – without completely blacking them in – instead of using the Fill tool. Oh well, I had fun.

The swords on the bottom were drawn several years ago, which is why they’re shaded. I’m trying to get away from that shading style because, again, it takes too long. And, yes, the eye on his back is correct. It shifts to stay upright. And it’s watching you.

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30 Characters – Swordcat (WIP)

He’s done except for deciding on the color of his pants. However, I’ve been staring at it too long to make a decision. Therefore, I’m putting up the color tests I’ve done and getting opinions.

The only things that can change is the pants and the legwraps/belts. Everything else is set. (The swords on the side are an old image, which is why they’re shaded and the main stuff isn’t. I’ll talk about it when I put up the final image).

(More added)

So, pick one. I’m leaning towards the aged bone belts and wraps and the dried blood pants (… he’s not a nice person exactly.)

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Working Title: Ostanes – Session Ten & Eleven

2 comments

I’m doing both, because I skipped over a big section while writing each of these so they’re rather short. I’m afraid, they need a lot of work, although they have a couple of good character moments.

I’d be willing to post Chapter 12, which is better, if I get, let’s say, three or more requests. Otherwise, y’all have to wait until I get the whole thing shaped up.

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Working Title: Ostanes – Session Nine

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Alright, I’ve decided I’m only going to post up to chapter 11. I knew it was a bad idea to post unedited stories, but I let my excitement carry me away. Creative types will know what I’m talking about (‘I’m doing this thing! It’s so cool! I must tell EVERYONE.’) But Chapter 11 is a good breaking point, and once I’ve edited it I’ll repost chapters 1-11 and then post the rest.

As always, comments are welcome, whether good or bad.

ETA June 2013: Trigger warning for discussion of Ostanes’ killing people (not much) and child abuse.

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Working Title: Ostanes – Session Eight

Nice long chapter, that needs some work (internalization, descriptions – which would clear up the whole ‘talking heads’ thing – better worldbuilding, changing ‘Dochia’ to something not chuckle-worthy – thanks to the person who pointed that out – and some more I can’t think of now. Ostanes’ first name is going to get changed at some point – probably to Michael – and that bit will need smoothing out.

In general, the only editing I’ve done is changing the place names just now, and removing about 2/3rds of the times Ostanes says ‘doc.’ And probably half the times Neill says ‘Ostanes,’ although those didn’t stick out quite so badly (when I’m voice recording I don’t have as clear of a memory of what I’ve said, and I tend to have people address each other by name far more than is necessary. Additionally, I know there’s some stuff I covered in two different chapters, but I think I’ve edited most of that out.)

I’m trying to resist the urge to edit right now – I really need to let it sit for a bit, and work on other things. It’s very tempting though.

Anyway, that’s more than enough rambling from me, now for banter and stuff.

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