Nice try, dude
Him: Hi dear.. I am (Unique name). Moved back to California recently. Looking for the company of a charming lady. I believe in life long friendships and like to keep it drama free. Hit me up if you are interested in dining out, drives, discovering exciting places & new restaurants, movies, outdoors… (Phone number!) (email)
Sparkling moments & good times guaranteed! And by the way keep up that magnificent smile of yours! Ciao…
Me: Not a dear – I don’t have antlers. Not a lady. And I suspect you send the same message to everyone.
Him: Not ‘everyone’. But yes a few whom I like after going through their profile. And I was expecting this reply from your side ; ) You are indeed are very learned & apt at reading & understanding people.
Him: I joined okc very recently.
Him: We may be seeking different things in our friends/partners. Right now my primal needs are kind of controlling my mind but I enjoy an interesting intelligent & scintillating conversation the most.
Me: Pfff. Keep fishing.
Him: Actually more intrigued in Batman right now
Him: But anyways thanks
More OKCupid. We had some ridiculously low percentage in common.
Him: I would love to take you to see some movies and have fun at the beach if you are interested? People describe me as being romantic, poetic, charming loving, caring, direct persistent, sweet, passionate, fun, and easy going. For fun I like to go dancing, movies, play basketball, the beach, play cards, bowling, play pool, kissing, massages, and board games. So what do you say?
Continue reading “People are not magnets”
Another short one (BDSM tw).
Him: hello! i am (name) from (European country). i am an online slave. do you want to use me ? :)
Me: Did you not read my profile? (That’s a rhetorical question. I know the answer is no.)
Him: sorry. i read it after i wrote you
Me: Try reading BEFORE.
Him: yes, mam
I’m cleaning out my OKCupid convos. Here’s a short one…
Him: interesting profile
Me: Boring message
Him: wow.. i did not mean to send u such a boring message. and u know what, i actually like ur profile.
Me: I like people who use proper spelling, punctuation, and capitalization.
Him: u gat issues
Me: What happened to I’m interesting?
Him: We’ll, since I’m not using proper grammar to comminicate with you.
On OKCupid, a guy with an 88% match contacts me. He’s straight and cis, which makes me cautious as all get out. It’s really long (to no one’s surprise) so I’m cutting where I can.
Him: Hi! How are you?
Me: Being super lazy today, but doing alright.
Him: Sweet. I see you are geeky and kinky nice combo [really? You’re going to start on that without even getting to know me?]
Me: Yeah. Not been so kinky lately, but that’s life for ya
Him: Ahh just need the right partner.
Continue reading “OKCupid strikes again (updated)”