30 Characters Challenge #4 – Thud Cutliff

I’m not completing the challenge. I finished 7 and they’re going to get uploaded here in random order. In a desperate attempt to have content for a while, they’ll post every other day.

Name: Thaddeus “Thud” Cutliff
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Medium Brown
Skin tone: African American

Thaddeus Cutliff runs the Dirty Business Gang. He wishes very much to be as successful as the Black Angels lead by Shaitan, but doesn’t have the business savvy, people sense, or cruelty to get to that point. That may change when his son, Ferguson, aka Big Frog, currently 11 and running the dog fighting, takes over.

The Dirty Business Gang will hire anyone from the other gangs and have contacts and business in every area they can. This lack of specialization means they are one of the most widespread gangs, but that thin spread also makes them one of the slowest to respond. The members are predominantly black and can be told by yellow plaid or bloody gloves.

Thud is a secondary villain for my comic series, The White Knight. Technically, the world its set on doesn’t have either Africa or America, but it’s a good shorthand.

30 Characters – Swordcat (WIP)

He’s done except for deciding on the color of his pants. However, I’ve been staring at it too long to make a decision. Therefore, I’m putting up the color tests I’ve done and getting opinions.

The only things that can change is the pants and the legwraps/belts. Everything else is set. (The swords on the side are an old image, which is why they’re shaded and the main stuff isn’t. I’ll talk about it when I put up the final image).

(More added)

So, pick one. I’m leaning towards the aged bone belts and wraps and the dried blood pants (… he’s not a nice person exactly.)

30 Characters Challenge #2 – Stuart Ashbow

Stuart Ashbow is one of the founders of Future-Tech. He’s runs the personnel side and is very friendly and a good judge of character. He gets impatient with Mick Adler sometimes, especially when he’s done yet another PR gaffe. But they will always be good friends.

He’s married, with no children.

He’s got a full sleeve tattoo on his right arm with an ocean theme and  a wheel with dolphins, koi, and anchors on the other shoulder. You can’t see either one of them ordinarily. The only tat you can see is a ring around the ring finger of his left hand. This is his wedding ring, and his wife has a matching one. It’s garland of rose branches with a small rose where the diamond would be. He has a small gold ring in his right eyebrow, and three piercings in each ear, all gold rings or studs. The ear piercings are not symmetrical. He wears a very plain, functional digital watch and glasses for reading that he otherwise carries in his breast pocket.

Stuart Ashbow is a secondary character for my comic series The White Knight. Mick Adler is already up.

30 Characters Challenge #1 – Mick Adler

Mick Adler is unarguably the most financially successful inventor of the last century. He graduated from high school at 16, college at 18, and patented his revolutionary battery at 20. He started Future-Tech with his three best friends, Paul Gaziani, Stuart Ashbow, and Delia Troy (now Burton). His idea was to convert all vehicles to electric power, and with his battery and a freely released conversion manual released a year later, that dream was accomplished. The last gasoline powered car in the AMY was shipped five years ago. All ‘gas’ stations now sell exclusively Future-Tech fuel cells.
Adler is an admitted pervert who will flirt with anyone who doesn’t say to stop (but will stop at the first sign of discomfort). He is also big-hearted and generous to a fault. He relies on his friends to keep Future-Tech running as he works, sometimes for days, in his workshop. He can be over-trusting, but since Delia Burton is in charge of all financial decisions and Stuart Ashbow all personnel that hasn’t gotten the trouble the company in trouble in quite some time. Adler’s personal life is another story…

Mick Adler is a secondary character for my comic series The White Knight. I’m working on Stuart Ashbow right now and I may do Paul Gaziani. Delia Troy Burton (aka the White Knight) won’t be showing up for the 30 Character Challenge as I’ve already done her design and that would be cheating.

Working Title: Ostanes – Session Ten & Eleven

I’m doing both, because I skipped over a big section while writing each of these so they’re rather short. I’m afraid, they need a lot of work, although they have a couple of good character moments.

I’d be willing to post Chapter 12, which is better, if I get, let’s say, three or more requests. Otherwise, y’all have to wait until I get the whole thing shaped up.

Continue reading “Working Title: Ostanes – Session Ten & Eleven”

Working Title: Ostanes – Session Nine

Alright, I’ve decided I’m only going to post up to chapter 11. I knew it was a bad idea to post unedited stories, but I let my excitement carry me away. Creative types will know what I’m talking about (‘I’m doing this thing! It’s so cool! I must tell EVERYONE.’) But Chapter 11 is a good breaking point, and once I’ve edited it I’ll repost chapters 1-11 and then post the rest.

As always, comments are welcome, whether good or bad.

ETA June 2013: Trigger warning for discussion of Ostanes’ killing people (not much) and child abuse.

Continue reading “Working Title: Ostanes – Session Nine”

Working Title: Ostanes – Session Eight

Nice long chapter, that needs some work (internalization, descriptions – which would clear up the whole ‘talking heads’ thing – better worldbuilding, changing ‘Dochia’ to something not chuckle-worthy – thanks to the person who pointed that out – and some more I can’t think of now. Ostanes’ first name is going to get changed at some point – probably to Michael – and that bit will need smoothing out.

In general, the only editing I’ve done is changing the place names just now, and removing about 2/3rds of the times Ostanes says ‘doc.’ And probably half the times Neill says ‘Ostanes,’ although those didn’t stick out quite so badly (when I’m voice recording I don’t have as clear of a memory of what I’ve said, and I tend to have people address each other by name far more than is necessary. Additionally, I know there’s some stuff I covered in two different chapters, but I think I’ve edited most of that out.)

I’m trying to resist the urge to edit right now – I really need to let it sit for a bit, and work on other things. It’s very tempting though.

Anyway, that’s more than enough rambling from me, now for banter and stuff.

Continue reading “Working Title: Ostanes – Session Eight”

Working Title: Ostanes – Session Six & Seven

I decided I really didn’t like the old working title, so we’re back to basics. I realized I forgot to update Wednesday, so you get two chapters. The first one is short and will get expanded on rewrite. The second one is nice and long and I’m pretty happy with it, although I need to add descriptions and more of Neill’s thoughts. (I also still need to decide what to do about Ostanes’ accent, which shows up a lot more in these chapters)

I’ve been reading through The Other Side of the Story, which seems to be a pretty good writing blog. I’m bookmarking posts on things I need to work on. Mostly I need to stop thinking about this story right now and work on other things…

ETA June 2013: Trigger warnings for discussions of violence/death, corrupt doctors.

Continue reading “Working Title: Ostanes – Session Six & Seven”

Working Title: All Face – Session Five

This chapter is a little short, as are the next two. They’ll get expanded on rewrite. I have to decide what to do with Ostanes’ accent – I haven’t added it to all of his dialogue. I may do italics instead of the doubled letters or I may just drop it (I have a sneaking suspicion an editor would say ‘drop it, add a narrative note if you must’).

ETA June 2013: Content notice for mention of parental death.

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Working Title: All Face – Session Three

I got feedback, so that means another chapter! BTW, if you want to say I suck, give some specific reasons, otherwise I’ll just think you’re a troll.

Again, this is a rough draft with next to no editing. This session I was getting into the swing of it, so it’s nice and long (also… well, you’ll see.)

A note on locations: Dochia is approximately equivalent to California. Eillios is Washington DC and Washington, the state, mixed (climate of the state, politics of DC near the capital, more laidback elsewhere). Odede is Oregon. None of them are in the same relative positions as the states. This is set in the AMF, the Anitian Mirevian Federation, which is basically the US, and uses abetaries (a word I’m pretty sure I made up) instead of states.

I still need to make it more therapy and less chatting, but that’s just editing (and getting input from people who know things).

ETA June 2013: Trigger warning for assault. Highlight for specifics >>> (specifically forced undressing and bathing. No actual abuse.) <<<

Edited slightly August 2013.

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Working Title: All Face – Session Two

Very rough title. Again, this is a rough draft, with next to no editing. If people like it, I’ll post more (that means you have to comment). At some point I have to get a beta-reader with experience in mental health stuff so these can be more like therapy and less like chatting, but that’ll wait (I have a bunch more research and prepwork to do too, but that’ll also wait).

Continue reading “Working Title: All Face – Session Two”

Working title … is a spoiler. Never mind.

I’ve got this novel that’s consuming me and insisting on coming out. So, in lieu of the Ben-Day Spot commentary I promised, you get an excerpt of the rough draft.

This thing is seriously flowing better out of me than anything has in a long time. Usually I can only write long hand. This one? I can write it on the computer. I can write it long hand. It comes best when I voice record it.

Again, this is a rough draft, with next to no editing. If people like it, I’ll post more (that means you have to comment.)

ETA June 2013: Content notice for this and all other parts: discussions of crime, mental illness, personality disorders. Anything beyond that will have an additional content notice.

Continue reading “Working title … is a spoiler. Never mind.”

Nano progress

(Trigger Warnings: Claustrophobia, horror, injury, mental illness)

I know I said I’d post some writing, and here you go. This is from November when I was trying to mostly work on a comic series called The White Knight.

This was a bit of a character study. Eric Ryddatz, aka Techrat, has some serious mental problems. When I get around to finishing stuff with him, I’ll get an actual computer guy to double check the error messages Eric throws up when he’s freaked out.

Eric frowned, a slight tightening of the corners of his mouth. He could see the key just through the hole in the wall. He was not going to fail HER (they had asked why she was female if he thought women were illogical, but she was mother, lover, guardian. He could make her perfect if he tried hard enough and she could make the world perfect.) His breath was faster, his heartbeat skipping, his palms sweaty, his stomach lurched. Fear. (Alexithymia, they called it, an inability to distinguish emotions, and they made him learn symptoms, like the glitches and error codes he learned to make HER perfect, but he couldn’t remove them, not as long as he was subject to hormones and glands.)

He tried to control his breathing, envisioning neat rows of zeroes and ones. He was afraid. It was nothing; an irrational phobia, but it was just a hole, not one of the cuffs locking down on his wrists, grinding flesh against bone.

Zeroes and ones. Beautiful, logical, perfect.

He stuck his hand through. He could reach the key that would let him out. Let him back to HER.

He did not scream when the wall closed on his wrist. Others would have. He did not curse or struggle wildly, like others, less rational people would have. His eyes widened and he broke into a sweat, his heart pounding like a walking tape drive. He tried to pull his arm free, squeezing his hand as small as he could. He could hear the key drop to the floor over the pounding in his ears. Biology, weak and imperfect.

He made no noise, but his lips were moving, reciting commands like prayers.

System Error. Abort, Retry, Fail? Retry.
I/O Error. Abort, Retry, Fail? Retry.
GPF. Abort, Retry, Fail? Retry.
C-x C-e
Buffer Overflow. Abort, Retry, Fail?

His eyes were burning. Sweat in his eyes. He could feel his skin tearing as he tried to free his hand. Contaminants. Weakness that could fail HER.

Kernel Panic.
HCB.

The lights went out and the neat white on black letters behind his eyes broke into neon blurs.

He was not like others. He did not scream. He did not swear. If it was because his throat locked down so he could hardly breathe, that was irrelevant. If his methodical attempts to escape had changed to frenzied thrashings that pounded bone against concrete, he did not notice because that was when the sounds began.

Chittering dry sounds, that crackled like static.

He did not scream, but his computer prayers changed to purely human pleas to HER, as he collapsed, his biology too weak to even hold him up.