Omegle: I don’t understand nutrition, but I know what cream is!

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before (and probably linked to it) that I sometimes go on Omegle and find really really really terrible conversation partners. And then I share it with friends because it helps my process it. This is one of those.

(tw: so much fat hatred, ableist slurs specifically the r-word, food, medical stuff, sexism)

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like socal.

Stranger: hi
Stranger: m

You: Hey
You: What’s up?

Stranger: nothing much
Stranger: how about u?

You: Just having some Oreos

Stranger: the stroke cookie
Stranger: xD

You: the what?

Stranger: the cookie that gives people stroke

You: I’m not getting the reference

Stranger: oh i guess you don’t know then
Stranger: like some years ago
Stranger: people who ate too much oreos got stroke
Stranger: since that whtie creme in the middle is so fattening *(I can find no cites for this)*

You: You don’t know what causes a stroke, do you?

Stranger: oreos do

You: It’s caused by a blood clot in the brain, not by cholesterol *(Looking it up, that’s not the only thing that can cause a stroke)*

Stranger: fattening isn’t cholesterol
Stranger: lol
Stranger: its the sugar in that cream *(wut? Yes, sugar can cause fat, because it’s excess calories, but that doesn’t make sense)*
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ooo BUSTED for trying to act smart
Stranger: lol

You: And they have no cholesterol
You: and only 7g of fat

Stranger: sugar in itself has no cholestrol *(Well, no shit. Only animal fat has cholesterol)*

You: and only 13g of sugar

Stranger: sugar eaten with other food is how people get cholestrol *(uh… sort of? http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20100420/high-sugar-diet-linked-lower-good-cholesterol)*

Stranger: 7g of fat…. and yet 13g of sugar *(I don’t even know where to start with this. Does he think that we need everything in the same amounts?)*
Stranger: lol
Stranger: DAMN
Stranger: STROKE
Stranger: put that cookie down fattie
Stranger: DOWN

You: 21g of carbs (which includes the sugar) is 7% of your dv

Stranger: Put that cookie down and type with 2 hands *(Pretty sure I was already typing faster than him)*
Stranger: yeah and diet coke has 0 calories too right? *(I think that’s the point of diet drinks???)*
Stranger: xD
Stranger: lol

You: I don’t drink soda

Stranger: you better not
Stranger: now put the cookie down

You: Dude, you don’t make sense
You: Or understand science
You: I weigh about 135 pounds *(Okay, I don’t actually know what I weigh. I don’t weigh myself often, but I vary between 135 – 146)*

Stranger: umm you are just reading the nutrition lable on the back of a oreo cookie
Stranger: and u want to talk about science?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: #1 science has nothing to do with ingredients…. it’s more cooking *(And there’s no science is cooking? And food companies aren’t constantly using science to develop new products – either for taste or nutrition?)*

You: You said the cream is so fattening it causd strokes, but then said it was the sugar
You: So make up your mind

Stranger: #2 Taking too much sugar makes you a diabtes patient ( STROKE ) *(Diabetes is a risk factor of strokes, but so are lots of things)*

You: Strokes are not related to diabetes *(Okay, I was wrong)*

Stranger: #3 you telling me all u want about don’t really say much on the internet
Stranger: lol
Stranger: LOL

You: And eating sugar doesn’t cause diabetes

Stranger: yes it does you retard *(Cite?)*

You: Nope
You: It’s caused by your body not producing the right amount of insulin

Stranger: do you even know how to make cream?

You: You beat unpasterized milk

Stranger: i mean seriously have u ever even baked a cake before? *(Not sure how those two relate. Cake doesn’t require cream.)*

You: Duh
You: Yup

Stranger: lol
Stranger: it’s milk, egg, sugar *(He thinks that’s how you make cream.)*

You: Of course the cream in Oreos isn’t actually creme

Stranger: err rdurr drrr
Stranger: you can drink unpasterized milk retard
Stranger: or else you’ll just be drinking a bucket full of bacterria
Stranger: you can’t~

You: So?

Stranger: LOL
Stranger: haha

You: Who said anything about drinking it

Stranger: clearly you have never baked a cake before

You: Yeah I have

Stranger: making cream out of unpasterized milk
Stranger: that was GRAND

You: I was thinking butter

Stranger: you sir made my day

You: Cream is seperated out of the milk

Stranger: 2 THUMBS UP
Stranger: lol seperated hahahhaha

You: I’m not a dairy farmer

Stranger: where are you coming up with this stuff *(I dunno, the definition of cream?)*
Stranger: lol

You: I don’t need to know this stuff
You: I go buy food in the store

Stranger: right so somehow cream just gets sweetened out of no reason *(Cream is not sweetened, except for the natural lactose)*

You: What?

Stranger: next you’ll tell me diet coke is good for u
Stranger: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Stranger: FATTY LET GO OF THE COOKIE

You: So where do you think cream comes from?

Stranger: it’s for your own good
Stranger: milk,egg, sugar
Stranger: learn 2 read

You: There’s no eggs in cream
You: or sugar

Stranger: …… wow r u that dense?
Stranger: so you milk liquid is going to formed into a cream by what?

You: I know what the definition of words are

Stranger: so you think~

You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream

Stranger: LOL WIKIPEDIA FTW *(Because an encyclopedia with cites isn’t good enough? FFS, this isn’t even a technical thing where a peer-edited encyclopedia would be inaccurate)*

You: Cream comes out of the cow

Stranger: OMG LOLLLLLLLLLLLL
Stranger: hahahahahhahaha

You: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cream

Stranger: you are so stupid aren’t u?

You: One of us is, pretty sure it’s not me

Stranger: go google “how to make whip cream”
Stranger: clearly you don’t understand the meaning of cream

You: You add sugar to cream and beat the hell out of it
You: Since I just looked it up, yeah I do

Stranger: you add sugar to CREAM to make CREAM? *(Usually whipped cream is sweetened, yes)*
Stranger: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Stranger: hHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
HAH
Stranger: I CAN’T STOP
Stranger: AH
Stranger: THIS IS TOO FUNNY
Stranger: LOL

You: cream: “the fatty part of milk, which rises to the surface when the liquid is allowed to stand unless homogenized. ”

Stranger: hey fatty

You: Dude, I’m 135 lbs

Stranger: just let go of the cookie
Stranger: it’s really for ur own good
Stranger: being 5′ and 135 isn’t necessary the ideal weight fatty *(This is where I point out the weight and health are not linked – No, I’m not the healthiest. Lots of people heavier than me are healthier, because they eat better and get exercise. Go look up Healthy at Every Size for more information)*
Stranger: so stop telling me ur 135 bull shit
Stranger: lol

You: I’m 5’5″

Stranger: oh wait…. r u a girl?

You: I don’t see how my gender matters

Stranger: well i think that’s why u r so sensitive

You: Or it could be that you’re stupid

Stranger: when i told u to put the cookie down
Stranger: and you are being like this emo biatch *(I haven’t even been emotional. Mostly baffled by his stupidity)*
Stranger: first saying understand science
Stranger: then telling me you don’t have to know all that shit *(Strangely enough, **no**, I don’t need to know everything about everything. I am more than willing to admit when I’m wrong, because I realize I don’t know everything)*

You: Right, because *I’m* the one insulting people

Stranger: but but
Stranger: it was too funny *(And that’s a reason to call someone a retard? When they’re actually correct, and providing cites to prove it?)*
Stranger: I am sorry

You: Yeah, totally believe you

Stranger: no i really am

You: Uh-huh, sure

Stranger: one thing i really don’t like doing is hurting girl’s feelings *(Oh, I see! Now that you think you’re insulting someone you could have sex with, your **whole** tune changes!)*

You: Now go look up what cream is
You: I’m not a girl

Stranger: oh
Stranger: then damn u fatty
Stranger: why u so stupid

You: How old are you?

Stranger: 25

You: I’m 32

Stranger: then how come u r so stupid?
Stranger: oh wait sorry

You: I’m not the one that doesn’t know where cream comes from

Stranger: i forgot different regions have different education *(What?)*

You: Or thinks that sugar causes diabetes

Stranger: seriously just go youtube/google how to make whip cream *(It came up when I looked up cream… And it’s what I thought)*
Stranger: clearly you have no understanding the difference between the cream from a cow and the cream that’s inside that oreo
Stranger: like u r so dense
Stranger: it’s making me laugh so hard

You: The cream in an Oreo isn’t whipped cream

Stranger: and i can’t stop laughing
Stranger: no it isn’t

You: Or really in any way a milk product

Stranger: it some artifical shit
Stranger: that we don’t know what it’s made from
Stranger: like that sweet and low shit

You: Or if you look at the ingredient list you know exactly what it’s made from *(It doesn’t divide the cookie and creme lists, but I think it’s mostly oil, corn syrup, and sugar)*

Stranger: people THINK it’s sugar
Stranger: but it ain’t sugar bro
Stranger: just telling u heads up

You: I rarely use sweeteners, but if I do I use real sugar

Stranger: oh yes OREO the manufacturer themselves is going to tell u exactly what they put in right? *(wut?)*

You: Yes, because they’re required to by the FDA

Stranger: plz don’t tell me you think equal is real sugar
Stranger: LOL

You: I use the package labelled SUGAR

Stranger: no FDA is just bunch of bull shit
Stranger: that passed cows that were full diseases in what was it? 2009?

You: So why don’t you go grow your own food and live off the grid

Stranger: where it killed nearly 200 people with the madcow disease? *(Cite?)*
Stranger: right that FDA huh?
Stranger: my parents grow their own veggies *(Not really the same thing as not relying on food manufacturers…)*

You: There were 4 cases in the US
You: and 176 cases in Britain

Stranger: sadly it’s really expensive to get hold of a real sugar cane
Stranger: hence they make all that rare shit
Stranger: lol @ 4 cases

You: You can make sugar from other things

Stranger: yeah like 4 cases a day / state
Stranger: LOL

You: like potatoes *(Okay, possibly not. But they do have carbs in them…)*

Stranger: r u like stupid?
Stranger: i am seriously asking u this now

You: https://web.archive.org/web/20120721234746/http://www.cjd.ed.ac.uk/vcjdworld.htm *(Cite on the 4 cases of mad cow disease)*

Stranger: sugar from a potatoe *(Okay, I’m not a food scientist!)*
Stranger: when you want real sugar
Stranger: which can only come out of a sugar cane
Stranger: harvested in Hawaii
Stranger: or other really humid areas
Stranger: yeah……. seriously

You: What about sugar beets? *(Also, sorghum, date palm, and sugar maple – cite: http://www.food-info.net/uk/products/sugar/sources.htm )*

Stranger: i understand now why my parents told me to stay in school when i wanted to drop out

You: And how many degrees do you have?

Stranger: so this is what becomes of a man who’s 32 and didn’t learn jack shit

You: I know how to research stuff and provide cites

Stranger: just undergrad and master is computer programming

You: Which you have yet to do for any of your claims
You: Oh that explains it

Stranger: oh so just you googling and typing in cream *(When you have world of information at your fingertips, it’s okay to use it. And I went straight to wikipedia and the dictionary.)*

You: All computer grads are assholes

Stranger: is “research”?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: HAHHAHAHAHAHHAA
Stranger: way to go mr

You: So where’s your cite on how many people in the US got mod cow disease?
You: ~mad

Stranger: you don’t even know the difference between the cream of a cow and the cream inside of a oreo

You: One is made of milk, one is not

Stranger: please don’t go around telling people that ok? *(No idea what he’s referring to)*

You: Duuuuuuuhhhhh

Stranger: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Stranger: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: this guy
Stranger: ok now seriously

You: I’m not a guy

Stranger: how old r u?

You: 32

Stranger: you for reals?

You: Yup

Stranger: you not like 18 who just got out of high school
Stranger: who’s high on meth?

You: I’m 32. I graduated high school in 2000. I have my own apartment where I live with my pet rats who I spoil rotten. I don’t smoke or do drugs.

Stranger: damn
Stranger: i mean i don’t know what to say
Stranger: like….. umm…
You: You could try shutting up

Stranger: put the cookie down firsT?

You: That’s all you’ve got?
You: You’re pathetic
You: Ta

You have disconnected.

2 thoughts on “Omegle: I don’t understand nutrition, but I know what cream is!”

  1. That was painful. You missed one though – Where he says you can’t drink unpasteurized milk. People drink unpasteurized milk all the time. Is that safe? I personally don’t think so, but people still do it.

    Other than that, it’s ironic when people without two brain cells to rub together call OTHER people stupid.

  2. Oh yeah, and “mad cow disease” has never killed anyone in the US. In fact, if I recall properly, there has ever only been one case of BSE found in the US.

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